Jon met with two other parents every Thursday morning for about two years. They all had children around the same age. At first, they’d check in: How are you doing? How’s it going?

The answer was almost always the same—fine—which, of course, meant anything but fine.

So they started using a scale.
1 was “everything’s falling apart.”
7 was “I somehow slept, showered, and didn’t cry before breakfast.”

Anything above a 5 felt like a win.

The person with the lowest number went first. They got the time, the attention, the space.

What was going on? How were they really feeling? Were they sleeping? What new behaviours were their kids throwing their way? What were they trying to navigate?

The scale wasn’t about judgment—it was a shortcut to support.
A way to name the hard, quickly.
A way to say, “I see you,” without needing a full explanation.

That’s why we use a scale.
Not to measure you.
To support you.